Afraid of the Storm
by myshipsaresunk
Summary: Peggy Carter is a storm that seems to follow Daniel Sousa everywhere. He can't escape her, and he doesn't want to, but he's not sure how he feels about her, especially when she uproots his entire new life. He has a choice to make: to stand with her, against her, or to not stand at all. Season 2 episode 7 filler.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters from Marvel, nor do I intend to infringe on any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment

 **Rating:** K+

 **Author's Note:** This is a filler for after episode 7. It's in Daniel's perspective and it focuses on him. I find him to be a very intriging character and one of my favorites from the show. Contains some Daniel/Peggy

 **Afraid of the Storm**

There comes a moment in every man's life when he has a choice. Does he give up against the pressing odds or does he bear on? The choice seems simple. Of course he should bear on. He has put so much time and work into his life, and when something goes wrong it means he's going the correct way...right? The choice isn't always black and white, though.

After all, every good man comes to a point where he makes a bad decision. Every caring man has a time when he ceases to care. Every strong man has a situation where he crumbles. Every compassionate man has a day where he lashes out in anger.

Daniel Sousa used to consider himself a good man. Many of his coworkers and friends still do think him to be a good, caring, _brave_ person. They're under the illusion that despite his disadvantages he's made a good life for himself.

He works as an agent in the SSR. He has a beautiful and kind fiancee. He perseveres on even with his handicap. He's intelligent and compassionate, with just enough wit to be humorous.

Daniel knows none of this is entirely true.

After all, Masters had just demoted him from chief and told him to take some time off to rest up after an in-home attack that Vernon himself had probably planned, even if Sousa felt well enough to pick up where he had left off. His former fiancee, Violet, had broke things off when she discovered who really had his heart. Although he doesn't show it, his war injuries bother him both physically and emotionally to no end, especially when others mention it as a disability. He may have once been smart and kind, but now he's just angry and envious. His humor is just to cover up how bitter he really is about his lot in life.

His whole life is a lie it seems. A series of lies set out to make it look like he has everything together when really nothing is alright. He's all alone in this world, it seems. He's lost everything that matters, and even what doesn't matter.

People tell him all the time that he's a hero. They tell him he always does what is right and that he's noble and loyal and _a good man_. Why can't they just understand that he's not? Sure, he sacrificed many things in the war, and when he came home he continued to make sacrifices, but that doesn't make him a hero. It just makes him empty and lonely. A shell of the man he once was.

Daniel wishes he could be a hero sometimes. He's been thinking about it a lot lately. After he moved out west and met Violet, his life had started to look upwards. Violet is beautiful and intelligent and a good person. They fell right in together, and even though his heart still lay back in New York, there were times he could forget about the heartbreak and the pain. He lived for those moments.

Then she had shown up. He'd moved to avoid her because she had his heart. The click of her heels counting down like a clock, her dark brown eyes, her bright red lips.

Peggy Carter. The storm that seems to follow him around and suck him up every time, only to spit him out and leave him even worse for the wear.

She doesn't mean to do it. How can she? She's just so strong and powerful and independent, and nothing can stand in her way. Daniel couldn't help but fall for her when they had worked in the SSR together in New York. Back then she had seemed even stronger since the heartbreak of losing her love had still been fresh in not only her mind, but in the mind of all America.

Captain America crashing his plane into the ice had become headline news everywhere. He was the iconic hero, the embodiment of everything good and righteous. Starting out as little Steve Rogers who couldn't get a break when it came to his own health, he had been put through an experimental drug infusion that turned him into America's Golden Boy. Strong, ripped, good-looking. He was what everyone aspired to be. Fathers took their babies to him and mothers warned their naughty children that "Captain America wouldn't approve of your behavior". He had taken the hearts of everyone in America, and when he sacrificed his life to crash that Nazi plane full of bombs, everyone had mourned the loss of their idol. Eventually they moved on, though. People always move on with time. Some new icon appeared and Captain America became no more than a passing shadow or a fleeting bittersweet thought.

Not for Peggy. Her heart had disappeared with him into the ice. Daniel, like many of the other government agents, had heard the last radio transcript between Captain America and the radio operator. But it wasn't a recording of a dying hero with a government official. No, it was a message between Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter, a last heartfelt conversation between two lovers.

Maybe that had been when Daniel first fell in love with her. The way she had stayed strong for Steve, even when she knew deep down she was losing him. In this age, women are pushed aside and told to be stay-at-home mothers who take care of the kids, cook and food, and do the cleaning. Women are considered weak and emotional. Not Peggy.

When she had first walked into the SSR office, head held high and heels clicking confidently against the floor, no one had taken her seriously. To all of the men working there, she was Captain America's sweetheart, famous only because of him. She was their baggage they had to find a use for in their minds. In the minds of the media, who put out "recounts" of Captain America's adventures via radio broadcasting, she was a damsel in distress that the Cap always had to save.

Daniel knows she's neither. The way she had always kept her head even when put down time and time again. The way she called out the men on the way they treated her. The way she went her own way and did her own thing, using everyone's misguided image of her to her own advantage. The way she took on some of the most dangerous men and women in the city without blinking. Daniel had seen her the way she was the entire time, and he had tried to stick up for her. He tried to call out his buddies on the way they talked about her, but it was never any use. And Peggy didn't want his help.

She was still hurting from her loss, though. Daniel had walked into the file room one day to see her staring at the file of Steve Rogers. He knows there's a picture clipped to the top, a picture of Steve pre-serum. She's staring at it longingly and sadly, as if trying to will him back to life. Daniel had never seen her openly grieving, but he knows this is as close as she gets. A little glimpse of him every once in a while. A look back at who he had been before the war and before his death. He doesn't want to interrupt, but his damn crutch makes a rattling sound as he tries to reposition himself. She looks up, tears sparkling in her eyes but not falling.

"Sorry," he apologizes, feeling embarrassed that he had just cut into something so sacred. "This doesn't quite - "

"It's fine," she dismisses. Neither of them move for a moment, not knowing what to say. Daniel had wanted to say something comforting or supportive, but he didn't feel as though she wanted to hear it. "I can assure you," she says, breaking the silence, "I don't do this often."

One sentence shouldn't have the effect that it had on him. He began to see her in a whole new light. She wasn't unbreakable, and she wasn't invincible. She just found closure in the little things. She found inspiration through Steve, even though he had passed.

So when it later turns out she had the last sample of Steve Roger's blood, Daniel doesn't begrudge her at all. He knows how much it means to her, and all the lengths at which she went to keep it secret make sense. As long as she holds onto it, Steve is still alive, at least in a way. Her whispered, broken words cut into him like glass: "I just wanted a second chance at keeping him safe."

Steve's death by crashing that plane wasn't his sacrifice. It was hers. Everyone knows about how Captain America's best friend fell off that train and perished. His parents were long dead, and all he had left was Peggy. For him, dying wasn't a hard choice when he only had one person left to live for, and if he didn't crash that plane, she would die. By saving Peggy he was also condemning her to a lonely life full of hardships. Who else would treat her like an equal now that he's gone?

Daniel knew she had his heart by that time, but he also knew he would never be enough for her. As Agent Krzeminski had pointed out, "No girl is gonna trade in a red, white, and blue shield for an aluminum crutch."

Peggy Carter had once had Captain America. Why would she settle for Daniel Sousa, a veteran missing a limb?

He had left for the west, hoping to forget about her. That's where he had met Violet. She loved him, crutch and all. And Daniel supposed he loved her, in a way. He at least would be happy with her. But Violet is only a soft rain on the rooftop compared to Peggy Carter's storm, and Daniel should have known better than to think he was free of her.

He had been more than surprised to see her show up in his office in LA. More than that, though, had been her concerns. "I know that all your time has been consumed with setting up the SSR's southwest bureau, traveling across the country...I called, on several occasions." Her face seems sad, those big brown eyes vulnerable. He's never heard her voice so soft and accusing. "Why didn't you return my messages?"

Had he made a mistake? She had rejected his offer of a drink once, and that, combined with once being Captain America's sweetheart, had steered him away. He had been sure she wasn't interested, so he had picked his scattered dignity up and left. Daniel had in fact received those calls, but how could he respond? How could he answer when she was a lifetime away and when he was just starting to get his life back together?

Then, after their adventure, when they had been leaving the office together, she had sprung that bombshell upon him. Well, she made it seem casual, but really, it was huge. "It was quite a night. Oh, I could do with a drink. How about you?" She is subtly asking him out on a date. Or just taking him up on his offer those months ago. His heart screams yes, but his mind calmly turns her down. After all, Violet is waiting outside. Daniel doesn't know for sure if he and Peggy will ever work out, and right now, he just needs something constant in his life. Violet is that constant. She'll always be there for him, and with her, he is happy. Content.

When he's with Peggy, though...he's infuriated with her yet madly in love at the same time. He's always worried, even if he has no doubt she can take care of herself. After all, if even Captain America could meet his end then it stands to show that she could, too. Peggy makes him proud beyond all measure, too, the way she demands the respect she deserves. She hurts him deeper than any weapon, and makes him happier than the happiest man.

Right now, he can't deal with those ranges of emotion. He doesn't know if he ever can, especially if it turns out she's after someone else or if she ends up with someone else. He needs a constant. He needs Violet.

"Maybe another time," he says, but they both know it doesn't mean anything. Daniel suspects Peggy knows he has someone else, or at least has suspicions. She's brilliant. Too brilliant, sometimes.

Then on the mission to the Dunbar Hotel after Peggy had found out about Violet. Daniel had dismissed his dinner with Violet without a second thought, even though he planned to propose to her. How could he have remembered something important like that when the woman he really loved was next to him, going off on an adventure he had the chance to go with her on?

Until the ring box had fallen out of his discarded jacket and Peggy had been the one to pick it up. She'd caught on immediatly, even before seeing the crestfallen look on his face. That's definettly not the look a man who is going to propose to his girlfriend gets. That's the look of a sentenced man. Daniel can't help but make it, though. He wears his heart on his sleeve far too much. "I'm sorry," Peggy tells him, her eyes sad but her words genuine. "It's very beautiful."

"Don't be," he interjects gently yet forcefully, their eyes meeting. "I didn't mean - "

"It's for the dinner tonight," Peggy guesses softly. She pauses, her eyes glancing down, those beautiful eyelashes on full display. Can't she see what she's doing to him? Can't she see that she has his heart and she's driving him crazy? "Please tell Violet I'm sorry I couldn't make dinner." She walks past him, pausing at the door. "I'm very happy for you, Daniel." She lingers a second more before exiting, not looking very happy for him at all, and he can't help but shake his head at himself. How can he be so stupid? He's letting the woman he loves get away because he's afraid of the unknown. He's afraid of her storm even though he's drawn to it.

The worst pain Daniel has ever been in is during the mission to retrieve the uranium before Whitney Frost. It isn't physical pain, either, unless his heart crashing against his ribcage counts. While Jarvis and Rose steal away with the uranium, Daniel goes back to help Peggy. He arrives just in time to see her hanging from the bar, one hand wrapped tightly around the metal. Until Whitney appears, that is, her beautiful, radiant face betraying the ice-cold heart beneath. She reaches down to touch Peggy and Peggy lets go.

Her fingers uncurl, allowing her body to drop from above.

She falls straight down, and the word rips from Daniel's mouth even as she hits something hard. "Peggy!"

He rushes forward, barely hearing the sounds of Whitney and her husband disappear overhead. He has tunnel vision, his focus only on one person. "Peggy!" He makes it to her side, his heart dropping at the sight of the rebar punched straight through her side. There's a pool of blood creeping underneath the fingers she has pressed tightly to the wound. Her expression is one of acceptance; Daniel knows the shock is setting in, and that she's not comprehending things clearly.

For one, horrible second, he's afraid he's going to lose her. He can't breathe for that moment as he stares helplessly at her limp body. "Oh, God," he half-whispers, stepping through the broken wood pieces to get to her. "Oh, God." Please don't let this be the end of her, he finishes the prayer internally. Please let her live. She can't die now.

She's not dead yet. Peggy's breathing comes in loud gasps and a moan of agony. "Peggy, stay calm. Stay calm," Daniel orders, forcing himself to focus on the now. He can't worry about the future when she needs him right here, right now. "Just...stay with me."

They end up taking her to Violet's house, since Peggy insists on not going to any hospitals. Jarvis and Daniel carry her in, the groans still pouring out of Peggy's mouth despite her attempts to silence them. She's so strong, even now, even at her weakest. Daniel just wishes he can do more for her.

"What happened?" Violet questions as they escort Peggy to the couch.

"She fell," Daniel explains shortly, his attention on only one thing: keeping Peggy alive.

"She needs to go to a hospital!" Violet exclaims.

"No! No hospital," Peggy manages to shoot back.

"It's okay, Peg. No hospitals. I promise," Daniel assures her. Anything to make her happy. He trusts Violet with his own life, and he knows she's talented in the medical field. If Violet can't help Peggy then no one can.

"A hospital would be extremely unsafe," Jarvis agrees as he sets her gently on the couch. "There are very powerful people after her."

"Peggy, stay calm." Daniel kneels by her side once she's on the couch, her gasps increasing as her pain levels climb. He squeezes her shoulder in assurance, an anchor to keep her to the real world.

"Okay, this...this is what I need," Violet starts, her brain going into command as she accepts the situation and takes action. "Daniel, grab some linens from the cupboard. We need to pack the wound. Um, Mister, um..."

Violet and Jarvis set to work gathering supplies, but Daniel barely notices them. He has eyes for only one person in the room at the moment. Peggy has his full attention as she breathes heavily, sweat gathering on her forehead. She's keeping in as much pain as she can, but it's making her weak. She won't be able to hold on for much longer.

"Daniel." Violet says again, this time right over his shoulder. "Daniel, I need linens. Go to the cupboard and grab the old sheets."

He finally hears her, but only because it's what's best for Peggy. He needs to get the linens so they can stop the bleeding and Peggy will live. He will help save Peggy.

He does save Peggy, but it is the longest few hours of his life.

After that incident is when his life starts to fall apart. He had just gotten off the phone with Rose, and had gone over to tell Peggy the good news that they had secured the uranium rods. Peggy sits up to talk, but it's obvious she's in a lot of pain. He steadies her with a firm hand on her shoulder.

"You really scared me there," he admits. "Please do not do that again."

"Get impaled?" she asks, a little bit of her wit returning. "Yes, chief."

Violet and Jarvis come in, and Violet gives Peggy the rundown on her injuries plus some advice. Jarvis takes her back, and soon it's just Violet and Daniel and a still house. Too still of a house.

"Thank you so much," Daniel tells her, gratitude in his voice and in his expression. "You were amazing tonight." He comes close, a genuine smile on his face as he looks down at a woman he's going to spend the rest of his life with. Yes, he definitely loves Violet. Not with the same passion that he loves Peggy with, but he does love her.

Violet looks on the verge of tears, not stepping into him like she normally would. "You didn't tell me," she accuses softly.

"Tell you what? About the mission?" Daniel asks, confused. Maybe she's just tired. It has been a long night. "You...you know I can't tell you about the - "

"No, I'm not talking about the mission," Violet interrupts, her voice breaking. "You said you moved here because you wanted a fresh start, but that's not the whole truth, is it?"

"Of course it is!" Daniel protests, but she doesn't buy it.

"You were running away."

"No. No, I wasn't - "

"God, you were running away from Peggy." Her face twitches a little and tears sparkle in her eyes. Daniel feels his heart drop again.

"Okay, Violet...It's not what you think it is." The words sound false and fake to even him.

"Well, I think you're in love with her." Violet's eyes are still shining but she has a small smile on her face. She's not happy with how things have turned out, but she's relieved for the truth. And maybe, despite all he's done to her, she's happy for him. "Aren't you, Daniel?"

He doesn't speak. He can't. How can he face her like this? How can he admit that his heart still belongs to a raging storm and he can't stop loving her? How can he admit he lied about everything because he just wanted to be free? He's not a good man, and Violet is seeing that. She's seeing who he really is, and it's not pretty.

He loses Violet not much longer later.

They're on a mission a few days later. Jarvis and Dottie are doing the spying while he and Peggy keep in contact via radio in a van outside of the building. Dottie went AWOL - big surprise there - and Peggy demanded to go in - once again, big surprise. Unfortunately, as she tried to open the door, her stitches in her side ripped. She staggers back to her seat and Daniel helps press some cloth to the bleeding. "How is it?" he asks, slightly amused at her frustration. She's not used to being held up like this.

"Somewhere between infuriating and embarrassing," she admits, lifting her head off her head. "Looks like I'll have to schedule a follow-up appointment with Violet."

"Yeah, well...we'll see." He leans back as she scrutinizes him.

"Is there a problem?" Oh, yeah. Just a little one.

"Nah, we'll get you fixed up." He turns on his chair back to the radio on the desk in front of him. Peggy is still staring at him.

"I meant with Violet," she corrects levelly, her eyes never leaving his face. She really is too perceptive sometimes.

"Ah, no." Daniel shakes his head and presses his lips together in a straight line. He flips some switches on the radio board. "Not at all."

"Daniel," she demands, her voice authoritative. She isn't going to let this go, whether he wants to talk about it or not. Her stubborn nature is usually helpful, but today it just opens fresh wounds.

"Violet, um, broke off the engagement." He doesn't look her in the eye as he continues to tamper with the equipment.

"What?!" Peggy exclaims, her eyes going wide.

"It's complicated," Daniel explains, hoping she'll drop it. Not likely. It's not her nature.

"Who does she think she is that she thinks she can do better than you?" Peggy continues, oblivious to how much her words mean to Daniel.

He shakes it off, though, also too stubborn to let things slip. "That's not it. I messed up."

Peggy still won't stop. "Then I'll speak with her," she declares. Alarms scream in Daniel's head.

"No," he argues firmly, making eye contact with her to emphasize his point.

"Nonsense," she continues, disregarding his opinion completely. "I will go on your behalf and enlighten her on the massive blunder she's about to make."

"That is not a good idea," he says, getting a little upset. Peggy Carter is nothing if not persistent.

"Of course it is. I'm very persuasive." She just doesn't get it, does she? And she won't stop until she hears the truth.

"Peggy!" Daniel exclaims, causing her to quiet and listen to him. "She broke it off with me because she thinks I'm in love with you." It's out. The truth. Daniel hasn't been the most subtle about his feelings towards her, but he has never said it out loud.

Peggy's face morphs into something he's unfamiliar with. She continues to stare at him with those big, brown eyes, and her head slowly tilts, her bright red lips opening in understanding. "Oh my God," she says softly. "Daniel..."

"It's fine," he dismisses it, shaking his head and turning away. "It's alright."

"No," Peggy disagrees, her voice still quiet. "It isn't." Her forehead is wrinkled in the middle, her expression sympathetic. "You were happy out here, and then I came in and mucked up your whole life." Great. Now she's blaming herself. This is not how Daniel wanted this conversation to go. Not at all.

"Maybe I was just fooling myself," he says aloud, as much to himself as to her.

"I'm so sorry," she continues, her eyes still never leaving his face. She reaches forward to grab his hand. "Truly."

He looks down at her hand on his, feeling empty and emotionally exhausted. So much happening in such a short time...he's not used to this much action in his personal life.

Daniel takes in a deep breath, returning her gaze. The moment is so charged for once, and he thinks that maybe - maybe she does have feeling for him in return. Maybe he wasn't fooling himself with loving Violet - maybe he's been fooling himself by thinking he'll never be enough for Peggy. After all, that picture she used to look at of Steve Rogers - it was pre-serum Steve Rogers. Sick, asthmatic Steve Rogers. Maybe she doesn't mind the underdogs, the ones who aren't as strong physically. Maybe he's just been letting everyone get into his head and twist his thoughts around until his entire perception on reality changed.

He's still staring at her, memorizing her features. The way her red lipstick looks against the creamy color of her skin and the dark color of her curls. The way her eyes could read straight through him and right into his soul. Right now, he's in the eye of the storm, and it's actually quite nice. She really is everything he loves and everything he wants.

Daniel's not sure who leans in first, but eventually they're both leaning in towards each other...just in time for the van to rock and for all their equipment to get smashed under the weight of something. The moment is over and suddenly they're both grounded in reality again.

The moment never returns, and a few days later, Daniel is almost convinced it never even happened.

In fact, he's sure it never happens. Because Wilkes gets a body again, and Daniel hears of a passionate kiss between Peggy and Wilkes. He'd seen the attraction between them before, but some jealous, selfish part of him had hoped that since Wilkes is a ghost that they'll never get together. It seems as though Storm Peggy swept through Daniel's life and left him hurting more than ever.

And at night, some men come into his house wearing black. He fights them, but what is one man with a crutch against five healthy men? He's kicked and punched and he's pretty sure his ribs might even be cracked. Bruises cover his body, and when he turns up at the office the next day, Vernon Masters in there, telling him he needs to rest and recover and that he'll take over being chief.

Daniel lost his fiancee, his dignity, his heart, and his job in a short amount of time. All because of Peggy Carter.

Now he's at a crossroads in his life. He can keep working with Peggy and watched his heart get crushed over and over again or he can fess up to Masters and Thompson and tell them everything. He'll get his job back, probably a nice bonus, and he'll get to see Peggy head back to New York or somewhere else, but it will be somewhere far, far away. Or he can just give up and move again, start up a new life. He won't be an agent this time, though. He'll do something Peggy can't find.

That memory of that moment haunts him, though. What if it is real? If he gives up or fesses up he'll lose her, and any chance at being with her, all over again. After losing everything, is he going to give up the one chance to get his world back?

No. Daniel Sousa is a survivor. He doesn't give up. He didn't give up when he lost his leg and he still doesn't give up now, in a world full of opposition. The road isn't paved, the path not easy, but he can do it. Peggy does it, every single day. He can do it, too.

Every man comes to a point in his life where he must choose to let his circumstances bog him down and destroy him or he can choose to step up and fight harder for the life he thinks he deserves. Daniel chooses to fight.

Daniel chooses to not give up.


End file.
